It seems funny at times. At times it seems deceptive... At times you wonder about the next explosion that's gonna take place in your life. You keep staring at the time-bomb as it clucks and sucks each remaing moment of that phase of your life- fraction by fraction. It is that nerve-wrecking foreplay before the moment finally penetrates deep into the tunnels of oblivion.
There are times you have to handcuff your intrusive mind with shackles of ego, politics, rationality and pragmatism and tell it to shut up. People who were by your side until yesterday have parted ways. They dont have time for you anymore. You satiate your hungry heart by involving yourself in pursuits of parallel universes. This probably happens for the best. You forget temporarily only to help time diffuse out the negatives. And when paths cross again, as they inevitably have to, time is scarce even for the sultry pleasantries.
I have time in plenty now. Time to think about. Time to think against thinking against. I have made a few decisions- all of them 'my own', for a change. I have decided what i'm gonna do. I've told it to a few. Many of them dont believe I have it in me.
Madam asked me one day, "But that way you'd not be earning enough money!"
I agreed. I thought to myself, "Who in the world earns 'money' that is 'enough'?"
As a matter of fact many people do.. The shame being none of us have the eyes to see them... And satisfaction, unlike money is not something you flaunt around.
She doesn't stop her incorrigible obtrusion at that point, continuing as I hung around in silent desperation.... She jumps accross the wire, "What about a mercedes. It is sho khostly?". "I hope I wouldn't be needing one.", I say sheepishly trying to step into the shoes of virtue. "But then, what if 'she'(futuristically!) demands for it?". From virtuous and proud to shameless and loud, "Well then, goddammit, if she's worth the buck, I can always ask my dad to buy me one!"
She doesn't stop, "Ah! So you have your eyes set in stealth upon your father's wealth!" I can't go on this bunny-ride anymore... I belch out, "You bet I have them right in the place!"
